Thursday, August 30, 2007

Is that Ralph and Hughie up ahead?

I've got Ferry Dread. Tomorrow I drive to Aberdeen and board the overnight ferry to Shetland. This, my dears, is An Epic Adventure for Ms. Mole ( she who doesn't get out much). This is such an epic that I've been waking up extra specially early for the last week, just so that I could have extra time to spend lying wide-awake and worrying about my upcoming appointment with Messrs. Rrrrralph and Huuuuuughie, the Chunder brothers. Wide awake has now been joined by pre-boarding nausea with a light smattering of panic attacks. From bitter experience, I predict that by Monday, all this pointless fretting will have taken physical shape in the form of a huge throbbing spot on my chin which, dammit, I'm waaaaay to old to be sprouting.

The ferry, source of all this senseless fretting, is ploughing its way across the sea as I write, trailing streamers of vomit in its wake. People suck their breath in through their teeth when I tell them I'm sailing to Shetland. I think they're trying to tell me it's going to be a mite choppy. I'm not on it yet - I'm still frantically enjoying these last precious hours of non-moving floors and broadband availability and tapping out my last missive like the last warrior left alive tapping out their farewells in Morse.

There won't be any pictures for a while, not that this blog has been exactly heavily illustrated thus far, but if there's time tomorrow before I go, I want to show y'all the bag I made to hold my new knitting project which turns out to be a jumper for Himself, but not the tweedy, chuinky thing I'd envisaged but an altogether quieter, softer affair in dark green Jaeger dk. What the hell am I doing knitting a manly jumper in dk? If we're talking epic adventures, this is surely one. How long will it take? How many miles to Babylon?

I'm trying to do the maths, so talk amongst yourselves while I add up using all my fingers and thumbs. Er. It took nearly nine months to knit a jumper for youngest daughter. Her Daddy has to be about four times her chest size, so I reckon I'll be sliding it off the pins some time in 2010.

Think i'll go and lie down in a darkened room and worry about that too. It's not like it's going to be an exactly entertaining thing to knit, given that Himself didn't much care for the Kaffe Fasset 'look' but liked the shape. imagine a Kaffe Fasset without the patttern except round the cuffs, hem and neckline. Yeah? Zzzzzzzz. I might just have invented a cure for insommnia. Now you too can lie awake in the darkness, imagining that you're knitting miles and miles of dark green dk into a vast ribbon, extending off into the darkness, undulating gently, up and down, uuup and down, uuuup...

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